Dear Friend,
The ability to let go is an art. It is an art we all must practice. Often, we are reluctant to let go and we only use the phrase when things go wrong.
But letting go does not mean things went wrong. Letting go is the natural and inevitable outcome of caring for the people and things we find along the way.
Sometimes life is suppose to unfold in this way to show us what we never knew. Sometimes we need to experience someone or something to learn they are not for us. Sometimes this is the first step towards finding the people and things that are for us.
Often, when places crumble or people go, they leave behind ashes. And from these ashes something new is born. Something that is just learning to walk. Something that is beautiful and unimaginable. Something we never knew could even be something.
However, like any art, turning ashes into something new is hard work. It is one of the most difficult arts to master. Most of us are reluctant to practice. Most of us do not want to pick up the brush again. Because to paint something new, we must paint over things we still love. This may feel like we are erasing parts of ourselves, parts that have been with us for seemingly forever. It is no easier even when it is our choice, even when we are the ones who decide it is time. But just like a butterfly needs to shed its cocoon, we need to let go of who and what we have outgrown too.
When we feel we might need to let go, we probably do need to let go. There are likely new stories we need to tell and new people we need to meet. First, we must be willing to begin again. We must open our hearts to the next chapter that awaits us. We must take that heartbreaking yet beautiful first step.
Letting go is often painful. When we look back, we may say to ourselves, “If I had only known this one little thing about myself, I could have avoided all of this pain and heartache.” However, sometimes our hearts need to break to discover that one little thing. Sometimes what we are looking for is buried deep inside us. Sometimes we need to grab a chisel and hammer and chip away at all the rock and dirt to discover what is hidden underneath.
This is the art of letting go. It is the art of becoming the people we are meant to be. It will not be easy. But when the ashes settle, we will realize it is easier than we thought because we have no ‘real’ other choice. We were always destined to shed our cocoon. We were always destined to grow into someone more beautiful than the world ever knew.
Recommendations
What I am reading -
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.
This is one of my favorite books. It is a coming-of-age story about a boy, named Charlie, going through his freshman year of high school. It is about him figuring out who he is and who he is not and about the people he finds along the way.
We all know what the experience of high school is like. We all know the level of self-exploration and uncertainty that comes along with it. This is why coming-of-age stories resonate with so many of us. Because, no matter our age, we are all still coming-of-age. We are still learning who we are and who we are not. And we are still in the process of becoming the people we are destined to be.
“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.” - Charlie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
What I am listening to -
A Sad Song About a Girl I No Longer Know by Bedside Kites.
I have been playing this song frequently for the past few months and I have done a lot of writing with it in the background. It is the kind of song you want to sing out loud with your eyes closed and the windows rolled down.
Links
To listen to my latest podcast episode, click here.
For a copy of my poetry book, click here.
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I have always thought about my life as a puzzle trying to find the right pieces – throwing away the “wrong” pieces. You reminded me that every loss is a valuable piece to building my puzzle. It is not about throwing away the wrong piece, but rather embracing the value that it brings in helping me complete the full picture. I love thinking about letting go in a different way. Thank you.
I love how “letting go” does not only apply to romantic relationships, but as well as with the things and places we have outgrown. Always looking forward to your newsletters, thank you again for this genuine reminder 💫🤍